names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
