I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You need a sexual gate keeper
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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