Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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