Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
wow bdsm is so cute
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