I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
