she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
