is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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