I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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