Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
