My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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