It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
