OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
