i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
someone owes me an orgasm
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
