the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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