the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize