Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
