At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
