my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
