what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
