I swear she didn't look like that last week.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
