problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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