also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
