I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
