but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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