I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
