I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He better not be in your backpack
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
