Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
