I'm gonna have a badass scar
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
my poor anus
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
