A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Less talking, more tequila
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize