so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize