its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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