she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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