I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You are a genius and a whore.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
