I wish I only lived at night.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
