It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
