You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize