when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
