It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
