how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you inspire me to be a worse person
She swung at the pinata with crutches
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
