I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
