Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
