so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
