I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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