I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
