I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
