is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
