At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
