he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
