What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
