Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
