Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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