You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
