Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
