you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
