My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Damn victory sex feels great
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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