kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We got so high we made milksteak
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
