god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
