No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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