Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
