Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
high people should be assigned attendants
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
