What a fucking waste of an outfit
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
