also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
