and i looked up. we had an audience...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
