I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I still have a little drunk in my system
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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