You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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