you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
