i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize