At least make sure they are 18
Why
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I love you. Go after that dick
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
