ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize