The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize