I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
