He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
