i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
