I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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