I could have mohawked her pubes.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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